The six steps to mastering "negative" emotions

"A clear understanding of negative emotions dismisses them." ~ Vernon Howard

The truth is, there are no “negative” emotions because they all serve a purpose. Consider them as signals of action that provide insightful information and give us the ability to make a change. Yes, some emotions are tough, challenging us at our core. But growth requires that we recognize their signals.

To truly master your emotions, follow these 6 steps of emotional mastery:

Step 1: Identify the emotion

The first step is always to identify the negative emotion – or more accurately – the action signal. What kind of feeling is it? annoyance? Sadness? Or are you just hungry? Which feeling do you actually feel? Finding the central feeling will enable you to understand its important lesson.

Step 2: Appreciate & clarify the message

As soon as the emotion has been recognized, give it your whole attention and explain what it is trying to tell you. It basically tells you that something needs to change. Is it necessary for you to modify your behavior, such as your communication style? Or maybe by shifting your perception (i.e., the meaning) of a situation? Use the table in the next section to help clarify both the emotion and its powerful message.

Step 3: Get CURIOUS

Get curious about how you want to feel by asking these four questions:

How do you want to feel?

What would you need to believe to feel that way right now?

What are you willing to do to feel that way now?

What’s great about this situation or what can you learn from it?

Understanding the cause of an issue will help you keep it from happening in the future and realize that every issue is a gift.

Step 4: Get CONFIDENT from past success

Consider a specific instance where you handled a comparable feeling well. How did you overcome it? Feel the confidence pour over you as you relive that moment as a comeback story. Recalling times when you were able to master your emotions gives powerful reassurance that you’ll navigate through this emotion once more.

Step 5: Get CERTAIN about mastering the emotion

By envisioning multiple solutions that assist you in experiencing the desired sensation, you can fortify your mental image of how you will manage this challenging feeling. If one doesn’t work, try another. Rehearse until you feel certain you can deal with the emotion.

Step 6: Feel excited and take ACTION

Take immediate action to demonstrate your ability to control your emotions. In order to modify your feelings and reinforce your practice, it is important to express your emotions in a healthy way.

Remember, you always have a choice when it comes to mastering your emotions and it all begins with the steps you take now.